Befriender’s Ministry

Christ Episcopal Church recently sent three parish members to this national, ecumenical organization that provides leadership training and program support for a listening ministry of lay pastoral care. Linda Undem, Mike Burke and Paula Gillman spent a week in the Twin Cities participating in the Befriender’s training program.

Everyone is, at times, on a difficult journey and needs a caring companion who will listen, empathize, and be a reminder of a caring, faith community.

BeFrienders provide care through a listening presence to anyone experiencing grief, loss, transition, or other concerns such as death of a loved one, disease, divorce, financial problems, etc.

The program emphasizes spiritual growth and ongoing education using the Ministry’s principles. BeFriender Ministry principles guide the ministry and characterize the pastoral care a BeFriender brings to others. Practice of these principles supports and strengthens the relationship between the BeFriender and the person befriended. The four principles are active listening, non-judgmental presence, caring – not curing, and God is present.

BeFriender Ministry is not a ministry of “doing,” but of “being,”—being present and listening quietly.

BeFriender program leaders train and support BeFrienders in offering care, a nonjudgmental presence, and active listening. BeFrienders receive training on topics such as:

· Grief and loss

· Spirituality

· Listening

· Confidentiality

· Communication

BeFrienders also participate in regular small group meetings with the supervision of the BeFriender leadership team. The meetings provide accountability and growth, and assist BeFrienders in their ability to listen, to be nonjudgmental, and to put aside their own prejudices or desire to give advice. If BeFriender relationships are discussed, fictitious names are used and identifying details are eliminated in order to honor confidentiality.

“The friend who can be

silent with us

in a moment of despair

or confusion,

who can stay with us

in an hour of grief

and bereavement,

who can tolerate

not knowing, not curing,

not healing, and face with us

the reality of our powerlessness,

that is the friend

who cares.”

Henri Nouwen,

from Out of Solitude,

Ave Maria Press

If you would like more information about what we learned and the training received please do not hesitate to call any one of one of the three. We are planning to start a Befriender’s training in the fall. If you, too, would like to be trained as a Befriender, please call the church at 326-6279 or you can call me at 245-3529. Blessings to all, Paula Gillman